DO YOU EVER DRINK TO 'RELAX'?

Hello beautiful goddess

This week's post is a tough one to write - it's about a subject that affects not only myself, but every single one of us on our wellness journey: alcohol.

Many of you know my story of being a wild, rebellious 20 something year old - who lost herself and her periods after an horrific break up. Needless to say, alcohol was one of my go to fixes to feel 'full', to make up for everything I felt was lacking in my life. Shots, mixing grape and grain, binge drinking - it really didn't matter to me, as long as there was fun to be had and the potential to self destruct. 

You may also know the story of my 15 year corporate career, which was deeply unsatisfying and based on shutting down my soul's intuition that there must be more to life than this. There were oftentimes I would drink a few (or more) glasses of wine after work, telling myself that it's what I needed to 'relax'. So much of the world's drinking culture is based on exactly this - the need to numb the day's events, and descend into a place where it doesn't seem quite as bad. 

I never imagined, that as a wellness coach, it would be one of the most destructive forces in my marriage. Culturally and professionally, alcohol permeates both aspects of his life. It can be incredibly hard to live with someone who once believed that 3-4 drinks (or more) every single day is 'fine'. When we are at our worst, he has been consistently and excessively drinking. When we are at our best, the focus is on health, connection and mutual interests. This is something I have never wanted to publicly admit, but I feel that it is necessary to demonstrate how much it can actually break down a relationship over time. 

It is however, a very personal decision to make. I for one, am not one of those 'wellness people' who preaches a no tolerance policy to alcohol. In fact, I actually quite enjoy a glass of organic red wine with a nice dinner every now and then! I do honestly think that alcohol is not a problem in moderation. Fertility expert Dr. Nat Kringoudis recommends that women who are trying to conceive should have no more than two drinks a week. On the other hand, my mentor, doesn't like drinking at all. You can read his perspective on the subject here: Why I don't drink alcohol - Tom Cronin

My greatest concern, beautiful goddess, is how we view alcohol as a way to Unwind After 5. A client recently shared with me their realisation that as a corporate worker, her life had pretty much consisted of work and socialising i.e. drinking. She had read something prior to our session that pointed out how our days are split into 3: 8 hours sleep, 8 hours work, 8 hours of free time. This was deeply thought provoking for her - how was she spending her 8 hours of free time...? 

One of my key messages has always been to never rely on anything external to feel full, whole or even just plain functioning in your own skin. There are so many ways this can be achieved, such as:

  • Meditation
  • Yoga
  • Exercise
  • Time in nature
  • Hobbies
  • Take a bath
  • Volunteer
  • Quality time with loved ones
  • Massage
  • Read an inspiring book

If you are desk bound in your daily life, my strongest recommendation would be to find more ways to be fulfilled at work. To sleep/rest/eat well. Spend more time with people who actually nourish you and leave you glowing by the end of the interaction. 

My invitation to you, beautiful goddess, is to have a deep think about how alcohol plays a role in your life, and not feel the need to eradicate it completely, just notice when you tend to drink more. How can you fill your own cup from within, without needing a bottle to do so. When you rely on yourself, and only yourself to feel centred, you'll realise how amazingly strong you truly are as a woman.

What insights did you gain from today's post? What role does alcohol play in your life? Has it changed over time? I would love to hear from you in the comments below. Please also share this post with any sister who would benefit from some soul reflection on feeling full from within.

Thank you so much for reading this week’s Monday Meditation.

In love and gratitude