HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART

broken heart

Hello beautiful goddess

I'd like to share with you the story of my client Maggie, a stressed office worker and carer for her elderly parents, who has a heart of gold. 

When we first started working together, her confidence in herself as a woman was non-existent. She truly struggled to speak her truth, and make time to self-care, after years of putting everybody else's needs first. 

Still healing from a 15 year relationship that ended in infidelity, she had lost all hope of ever finding true love again and believed that she wasn't good enough for anyone. Unable to forgive the hurts of the past was preventing her from being able to see a brighter future - one with a loving partner, and time for herself every day. 

IN ORDER FOR THE NEW TO COME INTO OUR LIVES, IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT WE RELEASE AND HEAL FROM THE OLD. WE MUST ALSO BECOME OUR OWN SOUL MATE, BEFORE ANOTHER SHOULD EVEN ENTER THE EQUATION.

Maggie was also living in fear of losing her family and friends, and if she let a significant other into her life, losing them eventually as well. Through our work together, we discovered this stemmed from losing a close family member at a very young age, and not having the transition from life into death explained with care or compassion. You can imagine the implications this would have on her every relationship from that moment forward. 

However, this behaviour also kept her safe. If she didn't need to let anyone in, then there was no possible way that she could get hurt. Eventually, any and all contact with males came to a grinding halt, except for those within her family. 

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in" - Morrie Schwartz

Over the course of our coaching journey together, we began to unravel the subconscious conclusion she had arrived at: love equals loss. There was a lot of forgiveness that needed to take place for true healing to occur. Forgiveness is the first step to healing a broken heart. It needed to start with her family, going back in time and mentally forgiving them for not knowing how to explain to a small child that her loved one had died. Realising with compassion, that they thought the best way to protect her from the harsh reality of what had happened, was to completely exclude her from any and all conversations. They were also dealing with and processing their grief at the time. 

This forgiveness then started to trickle out towards her ex partner. We took a snapshot energetically of the exact moment that he had broken her heart. This might sound completely unconventional, but I really invited her to feel the feelings - both of theirs. To feel her pain in its entirety, but also to feel his. From a bird's eye view, to look at both of them as two adults in pain - each of them with traumas and wounds from the past. 

The aim is to reach the stage where you are able to view the past with compassionate eyes and mindfulness - this takes as long as it takes, and is different for everyone. Avoid regrets, and thinking of it as a 'mistake', for every single interaction of the heart is a lesson for the future. 

My advice then was for her to open herself up to the possibility of being worthy. Worthy of a relationship filled with trust, where her needs were just as important as his. If you don't feel worthy enough of a caring, loving and committed partner, the same type of man will keep showing up in your life. Self-worth then became the focus of our work together, and I highly recommended that she read 'The Mastery of Loveby Don Miguel Ruiz. In this truly life changing book, he explains why you need to love yourself first to be able to enter a healthy, long lasting relationship:

“If you take your happiness and put it in someone’s hands, sooner or later, she or he is going to break it. If you give your happiness to someone else, they can always take it away. Then if happiness can only come from inside of you and is the result of your love, you are responsible for your happiness.” - Don Miguel Ruiz

Once I could see that Maggie was blossoming as a woman, we started to explore masculine energy - how it would feel to be around. An attractive, blonde woman with piercing blue eyes, she had no trouble receiving attention from men - except that it terrified her. Over the course of a few weeks, we experimented with acknowledging it and letting it in. This did not mean she had to take up every man on his offer, but only to be open to it. When a man approaches a woman, we tend to forget just how much courage it takes them to do so. Again, looking at the position of the other party with mindfulness. This exercise had great success in slowly opening her up to the idea of dating again. 

Through forgiveness, self-worth and exploration, Maggie began to heal her broken heart. Her confidence is at an all time high, and she speaks her truth mindfully. She has just begun dating a man who makes her smile from ear to ear - and she reached a stage in her journey where she can choose love over fear.

I love being a Wellness Coach, because connecting with another woman on a deep and sacred level is one of the highest forms of energy exchange I can imagine. Holding space for someone to reflect, release and renew is a true privilege. 

Now the question is, how can we bring more light and love into YOUR daily life?

Let me show you how...

I'M OFFERING YOU, BEAUTIFUL GODDESSES, THE CHANCE TO WORK 1:1 WITH ME.

The first 3 women to send me an email (fiorella@thenourishinggoddess.com) will receive a 1 hour Wellness Breakthrough session via Skype. During this time, we'll explore: 

- The biggest challenge holding you back in life right now

- What your goals and dreams are in this area

- Deep realisations around why this challenge has been standing in your way 

Reserve your session by sending me an email (fiorella@thenourishinggoddess.com), but don't delay, because these will go quickly! 

I look forward to connecting with you. 

In love and gratitude

The Nourishing Goddess