I have a somewhat exciting confession to make... after a 2016 that had the potential to leave me shrivelled up like an old, brown Autumn leaf on the sidewalk - I've slowly started dipping my toe into the dating game! It's terrifying, hilarious, cringe worthy and exhilarating all at once. Mostly, because I've come to realise that relationships are your biggest opportunity for personal growth. No book, conference, webinar or podcast will crack you wide open or make you snap shut faster than entering into a relationship, of any kind, with another human being.
It's come to my attention that I automatically not only accept but expect to be treated like far less than the goddess that I am. And when I am actually shown respect, I start to wonder what I've done wrong. Oy vey! What a discovery to make...
When recounting about a recent 8 hour date to a relatively new friend, I received some feedback that really blew me away. "Oh I SEE now! It's not them, it's YOU!" Ouch. "YOU'RE the reason why you're still single!" Double ouch.
After debriefing with a soul sister who has been in my life for longer than 5 minutes, she gave me some advice that I would like to share with you today about inner circles.
Write down on a piece of paper the FIVE people whose opinion means the most to you. Go ahead, I'll wait.
My recommendation is keep this piece of paper in your wallet, or jot it down into Evernote. Refer to it anytime unwarranted advice comes your way. If it's not from one of these five people, and it doesn't ring true - ignore it. Pictured above is #1 on my list. Sister from another mister for close to 10 years, this woman knows me better than I know myself at times. What she says, is definitely taken on board.
Because my entire life does not need to be approved by everyone. And you know, I don't want you to feel obligated to weigh in on every issue I ever deal with. I'm not a big fan of preaching, I deeply dislike the concept of conversion. I much prefer pure love.
It's been a long standing habit of mine however to be a people pleaser (READ: I just want to be loved!). I still put too much stock into what others think of me and my decisions. However I've recently gone through such a detox of people who do not have my best interests at heart and who have shown their true colours as humans and friends. And I feel so much more in alignment as a result. Because my entire life is exactly that - mine. And I'm the one who has to ultimately make the heavy choices.
The more we trust in ourselves, the more in alignment we will be with our inner circle.
In love and gratitude
Tell someone that they're part of your inner circle, press share below xo