Thursday night has become sacred in my calendar. No clients. No social engagements. No technology. It has become the night that I date myself AKA #solodatenight
This new ritual was created out of the fact that I give of myself so much on a daily basis (as many of us feminine, nurturing types do) and felt that there was no space in the week to be with myself.
We've become so accustomed to filling up every single inch of our lives, with no breathing space to allow everything to integrate. As a woman going through a divorce, I also discovered that I was running away from feelings that I didn't particularly want to feel. Spending this 'quality time' alone has allowed the harsh edges to soften and heal.
As I've become so vocal and passionate about this night across social media, I'm often asked by my clients for examples of what to do when you date yourself!
Might I suggest that you:
- Read that book you've heard so much about and create a sanctuary around the experience. Pictured above is one of my very first solo date nights on a cool Spring evening last year.
- Go to the movies and watch something that lifts you up or allows you to indulge in a part of yourself that rarely gets a chance to play. I went to see 'Fifty Shades of Gray' this Valentine's Day, and had an absolute blast!
- Turn your bathroom into a day spa and put on a face mask, exfoliate every inch, do your own mani/pedi or put a nourishing treatment in your hair. Personally, it feels like an exercise in self-love to do it this way, and connect with your own body - rather than paying someone else to do it.
- Treat yourself to that cafe or restaurant you've been dying to try. Dates can also be a daytime activity of course! I've explored dining in and enjoying eating my lunch in peace whilst people watching, or taking away and having a picnic on the beach.
- Soak in some culture at your local art gallery and wander the aisles as a practice in mindfulness. Absorb yourself in the moment, the painting, the colours and you.
- Combine dating and wellness with a bush walk and connect to nature, especially if you're in an office all day. Search for the 'must do' walks of your city - I've often discovered coves, bays and forests I never even knew existed!
- Go to a concert - alone. We're often afraid of venturing out at night to an event without a partner or friend. I recently went to a Deva Premal concert solo, and found it a liberating experience. Sushi dinner beforehand, followed by her stunning voice was simply divine. The concert ran a little too late for me, and I was able to leave when I wanted, without upsetting anyone!
Single ladies: think of all the things you've always wanted to do with a partner, and do them solo.
Loved up ladies: take some time away from your beloved to connect back to your essence. Your partner will find you all the more attractive for doing so!
Let the limitations die around always needing to take care of something or someone else. Feelings of guilt will inevitably arise. You may be tempted to listen to them and put this email in the 'too hard' folder. But don't. Space is true medicine for the heart and solo date nights are such a juicy way to fill up your own cup. To serve from a place of being full, rather than empty and resentful.
In love and gratitude